We all want to protect out children. To surround them with love so that they grow up in safety, emotionally whole. But sometimes life does not work out like that. Things outside our control happen, huge things that we could not prevent. Things that could have a life long emotional impact on our children and are wounds that they have to deal with.

This is our situation. Something happened to one of our children a long time ago. And it is something our child has carried. Over time we watched and hoped and prayed the impact would be minimised. But as our child grows older we see the effect of this emotional trauma. It reminds me of a sleeping beast that rears up every now and again to bite and claw and hurt. And then subsides but never truly goes away.

Lately our child seems to have reached an age where deeper processing is happening.  The beast has awoken and is calling from deeper depths.  All I know is that during this time we need to hold steady. And we do with consistent love and reassurance allowing our child to express the hurt, pain and anger in a safe and utterly accepting space.

When I am overwhelmed I turn to what has helped me so many times before. During my parent’s illnesses when the trauma of what was happening was too much to bear I used my essential oils. It’s where my passion for them began. I know how they helped me and and so I know they will help my child.

The deceptively gentle sweet smells coming of a diffuser are actually exogenous ligands (external molecules) and are being received by the olfactory receptors. These receptors are highly concentrated in the limbic system at the centre of which, is the amygdala. And guess what are stored in the amygdala? Traumatic memories with the densest collection of neuropeptides which affect cellular memory.

So by diffusing oils with particular molecular and emotional properties we can affect the amygdala and help release trauma. Sounds like hope to me, like a bit of Mama-empowerment.

These are the oils I turn to:


This is the Healer oil. Frankincense is so good for so many things. Aside from it’s emotional benefits, it will help your child sleep and deep sleep is restorative.

Emotionally Frankincense is the oil of Truth. It’s reconnects us with the Love of the Divine. It helps a child feel loved and protected which is what has been torn away from them through emotional trauma. Frankincense helps a child see the truth- that they are safe, blame free and loved.


Myrrh works in a powerful partnership with Frankincense. While Frankincense connects a child to the love of Father God, a paternal love, Myrrh connects a child to Mother Earth, a maternal love.

When emotional trauma happens a child most often feels abandonment. This oil helps a child to live again in trust with renewed confidence in the goodness of life which is an essential part of childhood. Myrrh helps to restore the trusting innocence of a child.


This is a powerful emotional oil. It’s the Oil of Motion and Flow. This is the oil that creates energetic flow and emotional catharsis. I would use this sparingly with children as while we want to support what they are processing, it needs to be done gently and as much as they can cope with.


While all the deep heart and soul work is going on which is much needed, it can feel overwhelming (for everyone!). Elevation is the oil of Joy and is a very needed oil at times like these.

Elevation raises energy levels and inspires feelings of cheerfulness, brightness, courage, relaxation, happiness and fun. Like I said, much needed! This beautiful blend of oils creates abundance and peace.

How do I use these oils?

In a diffuser in my child’s bedroom. I put the diffuser on about half an hour before bedtime and shut the bedroom door. Then leave the diffuser to run a for a couple of hours. While my child sleeps the oils are breathed in. The brain is at rest and so healing and restoring can take place. I would suggest using 2 drops each of Frankincense, Myrrh & Elevation and 1 drop of Cypress. This is a potent diffuser blend but you need it to be.

During the day I use a roller of Balance – the Grounding blend on my child. It instills calm and allows my child to be more centred.

And for support for YOU while you in turn are supporting your wee one, look here.

All the best x